On True Love, and how it conquers it all

What do I do when my love is away?
(Does it worry you to be alone?)
How do I feel by the end of the day?
(Are you sad because you're on your own?)
No I get by with a little help from my friends
Mm I get high with a little help from my friends
Mm gonna try with a little help from my friends



Of all my life mistakes, great and small, one I never made: I always knew I had true love with me.


But what is true love after all, how do you know if what you have is "it" or just some ordinary, partially eaten, half-understood feeling?


Here below is a simple questionnaire to help you figure it out:

- Does this person make you feel better when you are down?

- Does this person shut down your hopes with a spoonfull of reality?

- Is this person the second thing you think about when you get up in the morning and the second last thing when you go to bed? (let's face it: first and last are "I have to pee")

- Is this person the one who's text you never expect, and yet, always get?

- Does this person get the right snaks at the right time?

- Is this person holding the door, even if mad?

- Does this person take your side, but still is liked by your parents?

- Is this person Jude Law?


If you answered "yes" to 7 out of 8 questions (of course he's not Jude Law, get real!) you have the dragon slaying, tower climbing, curse breaking, cooking baking kitten saving Love.

Yes, with the capital L.

Like Lebanon. Or Louise. Or lesbians in politically correct tv shows.

Tomorrow it's Valentine's day, make it count; I know I will.

Oh, yes sorry, I might have misled you: I am still single and trying (poorly, thank you for asking) to mingle, but I do haveTrue Love with me.

I have its traits, so that when he'll come along I'll know I wo't have to settle down.

In the meantime, tomorrow I will wear a pretty red dress (slightly slutty around the hedges), I will buy flowers, get me a nice juicy steak (horse most likely) (yes, I said it: I'm going to eat horse, you judgemental bastards), I will go to work, cry perhaps a bit in my car (still single on Valentine's day after all: let's play a bit with the clichès), open a bottle of wine and have a good day.

Not hoping, nor waiting: just living it.

Sex would be nice too, I will see what I can do about that.