How do you like big butts?

Let's face it: Sir Mix-A-Lot had it right, we all like big butts and we can not lie.

Society might sell you all these skinny, muscles, androgyn figures but when a guys walks in with a round thing in your face you'll have to stare.

Don't you? 

I don't mean big big fat butts, but something has to fill those pants.

I see girls with nice butts bringing them around proudly, I believe guys should do the same.

We need more short shorts and nice fitting jeans.

Eat more, smoke less, pedal more, sit less.

And these was just another maniac Tuesday.

Occasional partners... in crime

We all have that one person that we will always run to in time of neeed: his/her time of need, not yours!

 Just to be clear.

I have this one... What should I call him... Let's say friend for lack of a better word... He used to be my best friend geowing up, we were together almost everyday, set a field on fire together, sealed his cousin in a concrete pipe that we found on the street, stole that think that is used to pavement streets... that black thing they pour from those trucks... Tar or tur or something...

Anyhow, we had our good share of adventures and fellonies together (oh yes, we got his baby sister attacked by bees as well... Man, she was in bad shape after that... Sorry!) and it was that kind of friendship that only small children can build: sincere, loyal, deep and sometimes very dangerous. 

The older we got the harder it became to spend time together and we had less and less things in common but I (even if I hoped that was a "we") still considered him my best friend, I could really see me getting married with him as my best man, how silly.

We didn't speak much and after a while it was just a "Hello" and a few jokes every now and then when we met by chance but one day he kicked himself out of his parents house in the worst possible way and fate wanted we  ran into eachother that same day or a few after (I can't honestly recall) and he asked me to go by his new place to check it out, see how he was settling and help him installing the new gas tank (I told you it was dangerous sometimes) so I did.

All this story just to say that now we are 30, he has a kid, I have a cat, we both have grown-up lives (sorta) and we don't talk anymore.

It breaks my heart every time I see him or when someone else tells me something about his child and I can't even see him.

The person I always thought would be an uncle to my kids (read "cats") now won't even say hello to me.

I am sure you are asking yourselves "Why? What happened?", as you should, so please if you find an answer to those questions just let me know because I have no idea.

It's not like I didn't know that friendships might end, but never knew one like ours could.

Silly me, again.

This post is quite depressing but I wrote it because his face keeps popping up in my "friends suggestions" on Facebook (oh yes, he unfriended me on Facebook too) and I really needed to see down in writing to understand how stupid I am to get hurt every time this happens.

A tip for life, my children: only a few things are forever, some are long-lasting and many just momentary but you will never know which is which before its expiration date.

Ode to a random guy at the bar

Your pants were right,
They were short and tight.
Your face was ok,
Not too bad I maight say.
But, man, when you started talking,
I wished I spent my free day working.
You say every employer in the world would be lucky to have you
Because you are great and your ideas are brand new.
You say every nation is trying to make you their own
For the amazing qualities you have shown.
But if China makes an offer
They will surely have to suffer:
Their money is no good,
Their people put you in a bad mood.
I am amazed how people are still listening,
I wish I could walk up to you and start kicking.
I'd love to see how many employers would line up
To hire the biggest jerk with his balls in a cup!